Guide to Talking Dirty During Sex: 107 Tips and Examples

Choose a Girl

We would never say these things to one another in any other context, and this is especially true if we’re verbally playing out our sexual fantasies. We’re turned on by the idea that we’re doing something “bad” or “naughty” and it’s totally healthy. Dirty talk and eroticism stimulate the areas of the hypothalamus responsible for sex drive and testosterone production, which in turn, makes us horny.

Dirty Talk Text Messages for Her (Dirty Talking to Your Girlfriend Quotes):

First, it will help you to feel more confident about trying this out by explaining exactly what works for men. I have worked with literally thousands of men at this point, and I’ve heard some version of these points from all of them. It’s also safe to say that you might be here because you’re a little unsure of how to engage in this whole dirty talk thing. You might not want to say the wrong thing, or end up feeling embarrassed about not being able to do it well. Even I, a well-adjusted sexual creature with few hang-ups and a church-less childhood, will occasionally try something filthy and afterward say, “But you love me and think I’m a goddess, right?

Build Your Way Up

• First, openly communicate with your partner about your desires and why you’d like to begin the practice.
• Your voice is your mature turn-on factor in the dirty talk world.
• Research shows that people who are more comfortable talking about sex in their everyday lives have more satisfying sex lives.

Before trying anything new in the bedroom, it’s always important to negotiate with your partner, first. And even if they’re up for it—in theory—there may be some words or phrases that might be triggering and that they’d like you to avoid. If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. To that end, feel free to experiment, but don’t adopt dirty talk phrases that are so far from the norm of how you sound or speak that you feel strange delivering them.

Real women help you find the right words to say in the sack.

Most people find dirty talk embarrassing due to the already filthy definitions given in porn movies and other platforms. I was a little nervous about initiating dirty talk with my partner, but I was determined to initiate something new. So I decided to ask him about it and how he felt about it. The discussion helped us develop a game plan, phrases, and words we could use during the dirty talks. We also decided who would initiate the conversation as it was somewhat uncomfortable for both of us at the beginning. And while 90% of the participants felt aroused by the right erotic talk with their partner, clearly the stakes of hitting a goldilocks heat level in sexual language are very high.

• It can also help you discover what turns them on,” says Naturopathic Doctor Dr. Serena Goldstein.
• “Instead of saying ‘I didn’t like it when you bit my nipple,’ frame it as something like ‘I loved it when you got on top last week,’” she explains.
• If you’re thinking, “The way your hair curls at the nape of your neck is really cute,” say it.
• Those who did communicate during sex were more likely to experience sexual satisfaction.
• In the end, the words are just ways of connecting with one another.

“Trust is one of the most important elements to any successful relationship, and believe it or not, dirty talk can foster better trust,” he says. There has even been research to suggest that dirty talk can increase a woman’s chances of having an orgasm. To take things to the next level, individuals could also experiment with power dynamic play.

Most of our communication doesn’t work via the words you use – body language, the tone of your voice, and facial expressions are way more important. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationship found that the more comfortable we are talking about sex, the more satisfactory our sex lives will become. “Little signals or texts or messages can help ensure that by the time you’re getting physical with someone, the dirty talk will just feel like a natural progression,” says Eros. This type of dirty talk entails stepping into your own mini movie and directing the action, aka telling someone else or yourself exactly what to do. “Directing can sound like, ‘Take your pants off,’ or ‘Turn around and turn over,’” says Dr. Tara.

Beducated brings pleasure-based sex education right to your bedroom. Access 100+ online courses from the world’s top experts. Once you feel confident, do dominate him or her with your words. You can command things (without being too mental and lecturing him).

Ideally, sex is fun and fulfilling, and acknowledging phrasing that didn’t quite land or titillate as it was intended is one way to take some pressure off and keep things light. “It’s not only okay if there’s laughter during sex, it’s great,” says Harris. “Sex should be playful. I encourage people to stop putting pressure on sex and dirty talk and just giggle.” Dr. Tara says one accessible way to talk dirty is to simply describe (exactly) what’s happening as you’re having sex.

But before you start dropping lines from the last porn clip you watched and hoping for the best, there are some steps you should take that will help things go smoothly and make dirty talk hotter for both of you. There’s nothing off-limits as long as it’s true to who you and your partner are. “I think to be able to talk dirty in bed starts with you being comfortable in your own skin,” says adult star Daizha Morgann. Once you’re fully feeling it, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you want. Take control by giving them instructions on exactly what feels good for you. “Dirty talk doesn’t have to be raunchy, but it can if you want it to be!